A Review of the Search Terms

I thought I’d keep it (somewhat) light today and write about some of the lesser-known search terms that bring people to this blog. It’s really surprising to see some of the things that bring people here. The one that surprises me the most is:

1. Dangerous prayers to get your husband back

This is the second most common search term for this blog, and that’s sad…and worrying. To you women out there looking for an answer, let me say this:

There are no magic words you can utter that will force God’s hand into bringing your husband home. All you can do is pray fervently. And if you’ve been praying fervently with no result, realize that could be God saying, “No.” If your husband was abusive to you before he left, asking for his return might actually be a dangerous prayer–for you and your children.

You must love your husband very much to want him back so badly after he left you. Dealing with abandonment is the worst, especially if you were dependent upon him for financial support. And let’s face it, being abandoned is just plain humiliating and a terrible blow to your self-perception. I get it. In the despair of pain, it seems like his return could fix many things.

But him returning to you if he has not changed or repented, especially if he was abusive, will not solve those problems. If anything, it might destabilize your household further.

If your husband has abandoned you or run off with another woman, you have biblical grounds for divorce. Your husband has violated his covenant vows to love, honor, cherish, protect and provide for you and to forsake all others. Divorce does not end the marriage. Your husband effectively ended the marriage when he left you. I realize divorce is a loaded word in the Christian community, but Jesus permitted it in these exact circumstances. Pray fervently for his return if that is your desire. But know that giving yourself the freedom to let go and move on is a biblical option. You and your children do not deserve to live in abandonment.

2. Who is Matt Walsh?

Matt Walsh is a young conservative blogger, speaker and radio host from Kentucky. He promotes stay-at-home motherhood, homeschooling and rejecting college as primary ways to combat “the rising tide of godless liberalism” in our society. His blog used to be on WordPress, but he moved to his own site about a year ago and now has his posts featured on The Blaze, an online magazine. He is around 29 years old, married, and has twins. Some have dubbed him “a young Rush Limbaugh.”

3. Is Matt Walsh a Christian?

Yes. Matt claims Jesus as his Savior and occasionally writes about faith issues in a very insightful and compelling manner.

However, in much of his writing, Matt employs some very inflammatory rhetoric, and he is often unkind (and unfair) in his portrayals of women, Democrats, and the working poor. Other Christian bloggers, including myself, have called him out on this. Many people are praying that Matt will recognize his hurtful attitude and allow the Holy Spirit to do a greater work in him. But we also realize that Matt is writing for a particular audience that feeds on vitriol and prejudice, and change under those circumstances does not come easily.

4. The liberal equivalent of Matt Walsh

I don’t know if I should be flattered or alarmed that my blog appeared under this term.

5. The best way to win teens to Christ

Love them. Many teens are lonely and struggling to find acceptance as they work out their identities. Become a source of gentle support for them.

6. How many times do you have to get the Holy Spirit?

Just once. The Holy Spirit only leaves when you reject it.

7. Is it guaranteed that my husband will look at porn while deployed?

No, it’s not guaranteed, but highly likely. My husband was in the Navy for six years. I heard stories of guys having “movie nights” to watch porn on the main TV in the common area. On military ships and bases, porn is about as ubiquitous as toilet paper.

A couple of my Navy wife friends told me that their husbands had pledged not to view porn while on deployment and had kept that promise. So it is possible that a man could be deployed and not look at it. But listen: even if he does look at it, as upsetting as that might be, it is not the end of the world. It doesn’t mean that your husband will become addicted or cheat on you physically. Military environments are extremely harsh and depriving, and it is difficult for a young married man (or woman!) accustomed to regular sex to live for months without any sexual outlet. If you want to keep your husband’s thoughts focused on you while he’s away, consider making him a private photo book with some sexy pictures of yourself (a good boudoir photographer can help you with this). Give him some grace if he fails in this area. And pray for him often.

8. April Kelsey homosexuality

I see you there, oh googler.

I am aware that one’s stance on homosexuality has become the new litmus test to determine if one is a “true Christian.” That’s a game I’m not interested in playing. The Bible is very clear on what makes one a true disciple of Christ, and one’s view of homosexuality is not on that list.

And honestly, you can’t fully judge how much of a Christian I am from anything I write here, anyway. You can only judge that by knowing me personally and seeing how I interact with others on a regular basis. I could come here and write a bunch of stuff about loving people and then be a total terror to my neighbors, and you would never know. Which is why your loyalty should always be to Christ and never to his teachers.

A while back, I had a couple of articles on this blog pertaining to my views on homosexuality. I later decided that they were offensive, so I deleted them. To be honest, homosexuality is an area in which I’m still seeking wisdom. But I will say this: I do not believe orientation alone is sinful. And the Church has done a lot of damage to people by making outcasts of those simply seeking help to manage feelings and attractions in a godly way. That is unconscionable. There are pastors and parishioners who will stand at the Judgment with the blood of many gay children on their hands.

That is a fact.

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10 responses to “A Review of the Search Terms

  1. I don’t think it is particularly “liberal” to say orientation alone is not sinful. I thought Linbaugh was extremist, and the extremist position would be to say that gay sex in the church during worship was quite OK, just as the extremist Right-wing position would be to say that orientation is sinful per se, whatever one does with it.

    Being camp is good too. But to say that is mere centrism.

  2. Hi April. I just wanted to drop by and wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. I like this blog article of yours very much. I get some odd search terms on my blogs too, and they make me sit there scratching my old head in wonderment. If you ever need to offer someone as the liberal equivalent to Matt Walsh, you know where they can find me:

    https://faith17983.wordpress.com/

    However, I like to think of myself as being me alone and in my own separate category from anyone else. I have no idea who Matt Walsh is—or if I ever did—I have probably forgotten.

    Anyway, although we do not agree eye to eye on every little thing, I still love you and your writing. (((((Big Hug)))))

  3. Hi April, nice thoughts. 🙂 I’m enjoying reading your posts.

    You wrote this:

    “6. How many times do you have to get the Holy Spirit?

    Just once. The Holy Spirit only leaves when you reject it.”

    I’m just curious how you came to understand the Holy Spirit leaving a person.

    (not provoking you), genuinely asking. 🙂

    In light of the ‘gay orientation/identity’ comments.

    I hope it’s OK to share my thoughts.

    In Australia we have lots of medical centres with rainbows on the windows.

    These clinics provide taxpayer funded support for men (predominantly) who have “sexual health issues”.

    ie: as a result of that “lifestyle choice”.

    I find that when I discuss the above with “liberal Christians” (who think gay sex is great), or with SSA sympathisers/apologists, I’m referred to as vile.

    Is it vile to talk about the real life health consequences of sodomy, to justify my view that it is sinful?

    Do we encourage men and women to continue in lust for their neighbour’s wife?

    We are all working through these issues. We need to ‘get it right’.

    I sense you are incredibly sincere in your faith.

    I love God and I struggle with my views on this matter being offensive and “vile” to others.

    I love my gay neighbours (I have many).

    I want them to know God.

    How do you view SSA and homosexuality in light of the Scriptures?

    • The Holy Spirit leaving people is mentioned in scripture, mainly in regard to King Saul.

      As far as my views on homosexuality…

      For a long time, I considered gay relationships to be sinful. Now…I’m a bit on the fence. In biblical times, homosexuality was mainly practiced as temple prostitution (idol worship), pedastry and rape. As those things are dishonorable to God and exploitative and harmful to others, of course scripture would condemn them. But that’s (largely) not homosexual practice today.

      Obviously gay sex is riskier in some ways, but I think many of the health detriments you see largely result from promiscuity. There is an aspect of our culture that encourages men (hetero and homo) to have many casual partners. I think if the Church is going to open itself to accept gay relationships, the same standards should be encouraged: sexual restraint/abstinence before marriage, monogamy in marriage, treating people with purity by refusing to sexually objectify them. That also won’t be popular with a lot of liberal folk, but it’s my absolute line in the sand.

      Let’s be real: it doesn’t matter whether you’re gay or straight. If you have 50 partners a year, you’re going to have some health issues.

      • Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I’ll have a read about Saul. I don’t believe anyone could convince me that sodomy is healthy or nature. Having known women describe rectal prolapse due to childbirth, it’s worth considering whether that health issue that does occur from male ‘intercourse’ is an indication the behaviour is not good or right.

        Just a thought. Cheers