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I recently read an article on The Christian Pundit entitled “It Matters Whom You Marry,” and I agreed with pretty much everything it said. Choosing who will spend your life with you is a critical decision that will impact your whole life–physically, emotionally, spiritually and relationally. I can’t tell you how frustrated I get with women who pine after men who couldn’t care less that they exist. That said, the article expressed a sentiment that I find increasingly common among Christian writers. It goes something like this: Â
If the guy is not a believer, you can stop right there. You have no business yoking a redeemed soul with an unregenerate one, even if he seems open to change. Christ has bought you with a price and it is not an option to give away that blood bought heart to someone who doesn’t know and love your Lord. It will cripple your spiritual development, open up a host of temptations, stifle your prayer life, make regular church going difficult, and cause massive parenting conflict if you have children. […] The health of your eternity is at stake. Think carefully.
Should you marry someone who shares your faith? Yes. Will it make married life easier? Absolutely. But the going assumption seems to be that if your spouse isn’t a believer (specifically if you’re a woman), then your marriage is not only doomed to misery, but your own salvation will be jeopardized. It also assumes that if your spouse wears the Christian label, you’ll always be perfectly in tune and marital conflicts will rarely, if ever, arise. Which is hogwash. My dating experience taught me that there’s a big difference between wearing the Christian label and actually being Christ-like. Let me illustrate. Continue reading →
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