Complementarian Crimes: Erasing the Needs of Women

For a while now, I’ve wanted to do a review of the marriage book Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. But that assumes I would actually have the time to read it. It may still happen one of these days, but it might be when my kids are in college. 🙂

However, I often see the book whenever I’m browsing shelves at the local Barnes and Noble, and it always sets me off. I just KNOW this book is a prime example of the typical complementarian diatribe that shames and oppresses women through twisted scriptures. How do I know? Because of what appears on the cover: Continue reading

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1 Cor. 14:34–Either Paul was Schizophrenic, or He Meant Something Else

Really?

“I can’t believe they hired a woman to preach there. What a shame.”

My family and I were driving past the church that my dad had previously pastored. I was nine years old at the time, a firm believer in Christ, and the statement struck me as odd.

“What’s wrong with a woman preaching?” I asked.

“The Bible says women aren’t allowed to preach or pastor churches. That’s only for men.”

A terrible grief pierced my heart. Really, God? I wondered. You would save me from my sins, teach me your Word, fill me with your Spirit, cause me to love you with my whole heart, then say I can’t minister in your church because…I have a vagina?? I just couldn’t believe it. Continue reading

To Conservative Parents of Daughters: Don’t Raise a Victim

Image found at weheartit.com

Trigger warning for victims of rape, sexual assault and spiritual abuse.

At the recommendation of several people, I’m currently reading the book Boundaries by Cloud, Henry and Townsend. It’s proving to be a real eye-opener for me. Not only am I unable to say “no” to the bad, I’m apparently unable to say “yes” to the good in my life as well. No wonder I’m so exhausted.

It’s not that I lack self-control. I’ve got that in spades. You won’t catch me chewing out clerks in the checkout line or flirting with hot guys at the bookstore. It’s just that I don’t know where my internal property lines are. I don’t know how to take proper ownership of my feelings, express my needs in healthy ways or let the right people in.

There’s a reason for this. Continue reading

I Went to the Well, and the Well was Dry: How Complementarianism Destroys Women

Image found at millercountymuseum.org

When I started Revolutionary Faith a year ago, it was never my intention to write from a largely personal perspective. I had done that on a previous blog and wanted to keep this one Bible-centered as much as possible. That’s still my intention.

But, for today, I need to make an exception. And a confession.

I announced (rather boldly) a while back that when it comes to gender relations, I’m functionally egalitarian. In reality, that’s only half true. Complementarian teachings have had their claws in me for years, and they’ve proven rather difficult to shake.

I’m about to tell you how deep that rabbit hole goes. Continue reading

Why I’m (Functionally) Egalitarian

Yesterday, I stumbled across an interesting post on the Gospel Coalition Voices blog. In it was the following quote by Russell Moore, dean of Theology at the Southern Baptist Seminary:

What I fear is that we have many people in evangelicalism who can check off “complementarian” on a box but who really aren’t living out complementarian lives. Sometimes I fear we have marriages that are functionally egalitarian, because they are within the structure of the larger society. If all we are doing is saying “male headship” and “wives submit to your husbands,” but we’re not really defining what that looks like . . . in this kind of culture, when those things are being challenged, then it’s simply going to go away.

I hate to break it to Dr. Moore, but…duh! Because when you practice the kind of complementarianism outlined by the Bible, that’s what you get: something functionally egalitarian. Continue reading