Year-End Confessions: Back from the Ashes

 

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(c) April Kelsey

Hello, Dear Readers.

As you can probably tell from the (in)frequency of my posting, 2016 has been a tough year, and I’ve been fairly quiet about it. I thought it was time to let you know what I’ve been up to and what has changed for me.

I started 2016 in the grip of grief. I had recently said goodbye to someone who meant a great deal to me, and there was no getting over it quickly. I don’t think I’ve ever grieved so long or so hard. Basically, I cried off and on from January to August. I was also diagnosed with a deformed vertebrae in my lower back and spent most of the summer in physical therapy. My mother-in-law lived with me from May to October to help with my kids. Continue reading

When Marriage Hurts

shell-756724_1280A while back, a reader asked if I would blog more about my experience with depression in marriage. Since then, the topic hasn’t been far from my mind. Finally, after nine months, I have some thoughts to share.

My husband and I have known each other for about 16 years, and in August we will celebrate 9 years of marriage. Hubby and I have always gotten along very well. We are quite comfortable with each other. Touch being my primary love language, we are frequently and openly affectionate. We touch as we pass each other in the kitchen, as we ride together in the car, as we say goodbye in the morning and hello in the evening. His touch has become so familiar to me, it’s nearly as familiar as my own. Disagreements between us are rare; yelling and snipping almost non-existent.

But… Continue reading

7 Christian Men Christian Women Shouldn’t Date

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Image by Pixabay

You may have seen some articles floating around about the types of women Christian men shouldn’t date. Sure, there’s some out there about the kinds of men Christian women shouldn’t date, too, but they’re mostly about men who are afraid of commitment or who don’t take their faith seriously.

But what about those who do? Is every dedicated Christian man great marriage material? Some would say yes, but I beg to differ. So here are my 7 CHRISTIAN men that Christian women should stay far, far away from. Continue reading

A Review of the Search Terms

I thought I’d keep it (somewhat) light today and write about some of the lesser-known search terms that bring people to this blog. It’s really surprising to see some of the things that bring people here. The one that surprises me the most is:

1. Dangerous prayers to get your husband back

This is the second most common search term for this blog, and that’s sad…and worrying. To you women out there looking for an answer, let me say this:

There are no magic words you can utter that will force God’s hand into bringing your husband home. All you can do is pray fervently. And if you’ve been praying fervently with no result, realize that could be God saying, “No.” If your husband was abusive to you before he left, asking for his return might actually be a dangerous prayer–for you and your children. Continue reading

Infidelity is Not “For Better or Worse”

There’s some serious planking going on here.

I wasn’t going to write about the Ashley Madison scandal. I figured enough bloggers were doing that.

But the reaction I’m seeing from some Christian leaders has my blood boiling. For people who passionately tout the sanctity of marriage and denounce the evils of the sexual revolution, you’d think they’d be at least somewhat livid at the scores of Christian men who were caught spending hundreds of dollars on a website to elicit an extra-marital affair.

Instead, it’s all, “We should forgive them” and “What about grace?” and “Let’s examine our own sins first.” And when the wives–who have been horribly deceived and betrayed–come forward to seek a divorce, the same leaders have responded with, “Hey. You pledged to marry him for better or worse.”

But infidelity is not “for better or worse.”  Continue reading