It’s been a killer week. Month. Year. Decade. I came out of the dark to experience a sea of change. And I needed it. Slowly, I have started to catch my breath, find joy, say no to endless demands on my energy. I’m still limping along, but I’m happier. More whole. The light has dawned, and I’m moving toward it.
But life is still life. Sometimes, it sucks. Sometimes, people that you love fall sick. Or you get stuck in an impossible job situation. Or you find out two weeks after your 37th birthday that you need back surgery.
And, sometimes, those things happen in the same month. Continue reading
For the last two and a half years, I’ve been living in a reality that doesn’t feel quite…real. I remember when it started. I had gone to bed the night of November 8, 2016, before the presidential election results were in, too exhausted to wait out the final returns. It was a close race, but surely…surely!…things would turn out alright. So when I rolled over in bed the next morning and asked who won, the answer left me feeling like I had landed in the twilight zone.
That feeling intensified the next year when I packed a suitcase and left my marital home, officially separating from my husband. On at least one occasion, I cried so hard that I collapsed in the floor. For the first couple of weeks, I had to have my GPS on in the car everywhere I went; otherwise, I would zone out and drive in a straight line until I didn’t recognize my surroundings anymore. Continue reading
My relationship to holidays and special occasions has always been a bit fraught. A special day means special planning. Buying gifts. Making food. Doing rituals. Behind all of that lies the prospect of disappointing people I love. Between my low energy, anxiety and OCD/ADD tendencies, holidays feel more like hell than happiness.
But now, there’s a new twist.
Photo from Wikipedia Commons
If you’ve been awake anytime in the past 24 hours, you’ve probably heard about the interview Jerry Falwell, Jr. recently gave to The Washington Post about why he thinks supporting Trump is a moral decision. In that interview, Falwell says:
“Why have Americans been able to do more to help people in need around the world than any other country in history? It’s because of free enterprise, freedom, ingenuity, entrepreneurism and wealth. A poor person never gave anyone a job. A poor person never gave anybody charity, not of any real volume. It’s just common sense to me.”
Since then, the Huffington Post, Relevant Magazine, and others have taken Falwell to task about some of his statements. But I find them quite illuminating. See, when Falwell talks about poor people, I think he’s really talking about himself. Case in point: Continue reading
My dear readers. How are you? It’s certainly been a while since I’ve written. I hope you all are well.
I want to let you know what’s been happening with me. There’s been a lot going on, and I haven’t told you anything about it.
Because it’s been hard.
Because I’ve been ashamed. Continue reading